Life Lesson #22: I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn! But sometimes, I just want to dance.

“Seriously, those guys love Man Love!”

Madonna made this bold statement at about nine a.m. Sunday morning. While she was probably still intoxicated (it was declared during one of those conversations you have with your friends when you wake up for about twenty minutes after a late night, only to fall back asleep for several more hours once you realize you’re incapable of saying anything coherent and it hurts to even lift your head for a second), I’d venture to say she is correct.

I’d like to define Man Love as the many ways in which guys demonstrate affection towards one another. Of course, the hug-with-simultaneous-back-pat falls into this. As does the ass-smack of many a sports team. And the sophomoric goosing that, sadly, still seems an appropriate form of messing with your friends in public.

As of late, some more complex forms have developed amongst the male population. Maybe because of our more tolerant world. Maybe because once they’ve shared a few shots, guys feel closer to each other. Or maybe because they realize their fears of all things ‘gay’ are completely idiotic.

Whatever the reason, Man Love was all the rage this week. Beginning in the form of advice.

Westchester and I went out to lunch on Saturday with a few guys in our summer share house. After one of our male companions managed to mess up his shorts with a Gorbachev grease stain, he quelled his own agitation by announcing he was still going to wear them out later that night.

“Hey, it’s manly. It’s a stain!”

I raised one eyebrow quizzically and shook my head. No, not manly, but slobbish, for sure. I thought in the best interest of all, I would tell him so. But before I could open my mouth, the two other guys quickly jumped in.

“No way you can wear those out. It’s a huge stain, man!”

Followed by another genius observation.

“No chick is going to go home with you with that.”

Agreed.

But our friend was still hesitant to cave.

“Come on, really? It’s just a stain. It makes me look like a Man’s Man.”

I had to break my silence.

“It’s a hamburger stain, not a grease stain from a truck or something! No one is going to mistake you for a hot mechanic tonight. Just a guy who’s too lazy to clean his pants.”

I got resounding nods from everyone at the table. As well as continued persuasions to get him to either clean the shorts when we got back to the house or change before going out.

So Man Love, it seems, now includes imparting pearls of wisdom from one man to another. Whereas a few years ago, I wouldn’t be surprised if they had instead attempted to cock-block him by insisting the stain would help him get laid. But now, it’s not about that. It is about imparting the small bits of insight one may have to the others that don’t quite get it yet. Particularly when it comes to sex.

Man Love has also taken to the dance floor.

It used to be dancing was for women and couples. Period. A group of girls could be found at any given moment in time - at a club, a wedding reception, or a high school gym - getting their groove on. Slow the beat down a notch, you might be able to lure a few couples out there. A random brave male soul (or total creep, given the context of the situation) might be hovering around, bobbing his head or tapping his foot to indicate that, while he is nowhere near part of the vagina tribe, he is clearly observing and maybe even hoping to pull one of the group free to become part of a couple with him.

What one rarely saw was a group of guys doing this. Because they didn’t dance with each other. It just didn’t happen. They would only dance because their girlfriends begged them or their Aunty Betty was newly widowed and about to shed a tear during “What a Wonderful World”.

But Man Love is letting the man boogie.

This weekend alone, I witnessed several somewhat awkward, bizarre steps, unique to the penis tribe, that for arguments sake, will be considered “dance moves”:

The Can-Can’t (takes three or more): Arms around each other’s shoulders, a sway and jump switch off, possibly a kick of a leg at random. Can be to the beat. More often than not, it seems as if they just can’t find it.

The Lion (takes two or more): This is a term Madonna actually likes to describe for many pictures guys take in which they put their arms around each other and puff out their chests in pride. Once the flash pops, if the boys remain in this pose and start swaying, then you’ve got dancing. Which may even lead into The Can-Can’t.

The Go-Gett(h)er (takes one): This is for the truly bold. Throwing caution to the wind, this man will go up to any woman, whether she be in the midst of the vagina tribe, dancing with just one other girl friend, or shaking her ass all by her lonesome (kind of like me), and jump right in. Literally. Because The Go-Gett(h)er often includes insane-like leaping, bouncing and hopping all over the place.

Man Love is also demonstrated by the coveting of one member of a group in an affectionate, almost fatherly, sort of way.

We have a particular group of friends that we’ve known since high school. The group has grown to include some of their respective friends from college. They’ve all swapped stories, advice, and girlfriends. They’re kind of like this big, dysfunctional family, or Island of Misfits even. Which is why we love them.

Anyway, there is one kid in this group that everyone just adores. And so, they’ve taken to some displays of affection rarely seen amongst men:

Noogies (really, who does that any more?)

Kissing on the cheek (honestly)

Picking up and twirling him around (swear on my soul)

I know you probably don’t believe the above, but it’s true. And if you’re part of that group, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Life Lesson # 22: Ladies, being girly is no longer just for us anymore. While we’ve been showing each other love and affection for a lifetime, our male counterparts finally want their turn. It’s hilarious. Slightly endearing. And in a way, it may even be a sign of them growing up.