Life Lesson #19: Mommy and Daddy will always love you, no matter what the future may hold.

Lately, H.F.T. and I have been feeling like the children of divorce.

Our parents, Madonna and Earl, recently broke up. It’s been very hard on all of us. Obviously, for the two people in the relationship. But what I never thought was that we would also be so affected.

It’s been rough. But I think the turning point has arrived. While there was never a custody battle per say, H.F.T. and I definitely felt as if we would have to split our time between Mom and Dad. And I think while it was easiest to just avoid any involvement in the first place, the time has come to step up and deal with the situation like the adult children that we are.

I met Earl through Madonna. When we were still in college, I didn’t know him that well. After we graduated and we all moved back to New York, and then a year later, Madonna and I decided to live together, Earl and I wound up becoming very good friends outside of his relationship with her.

We bonded over making fun of Madonna’s awful taste in music and our penchant to quickly judge people. Some of my most cherished memories I have with Earl are sans Madonna: getting wasted to watch the season finale of Friends at my LES apartment that had rats the size of babies; trying to get The One to ask a seventy-five year old, drunk, Belgium woman who insisted she knew ‘'the philosphy of life" out on a date (he never did, and so we never learned just what the philosophy is); and getting tackled by a drunk-from-the-Drift Earl outside his Hampton’s summer house when he found out I paid for the cab home.

And of course, Earl took his friendship with H.F.T. (before she started dating her boyfriend) and I very seriously when it came to protecting us from assholes. When it didn’t take him long to figure out that we actually don’t mind most assholes, I knew he was a great friend.

Now that I‘ve taken some time to examine the past few weeks of The Breakup Aftermath, I‘ve noticed that I‘ve gone through the phases that most children of divorce exhibit.

Denial and Silence: I totally refused to acknowledge that my favorite couple in the world was no longer. That was just crazy talk! And so I decided to close my ears and assume that in a few days (max, weeks) they’d both tell me it was some crazy joke to mess with my head. If anyone asked me if they broke up, I rolled my eyes and said "they’re totally getting back together."

Regression: Due to my inability to deal with this, I started acting more childlike than usual. A few unnecessary tantrums at work. Going to sleep inappropriately early during the week. Nail biting. I stopped short of wetting the bed.

Bodily Distress: I got really sick the other week. One hundred percent allergy/sinus stupidity. It had nothing to do with the parent situation, but it fits nicely with my theory here, so I’m going with it.

Hostility and Guilt: Generally speaking, I can be hostile, so that’s not too out of the ordinary for me. But guilty? So not me, even when I really should be. But then I started feeling really bad about quitting my job, avoiding my mom’s phone calls, and shamelessly trying to get this guy I like to come home with me. That had to be because of the breakup.

Panic and Confusion: I got really freaked out that I’d never get to hang out with Earl again. Even though I know that’s never going to happen, I kind of made myself believe it. I panicked that when we did finally see each other out somewhere, we’d ignore each other or exchange nothing more than awkward pleasantries.

Luckily, the stages finally came to an end and I’m back to my usual healthy, guilt-free, floozy self. And so last week, I felt like I really needed to hang out with the old man. When H.F.T. decided her birthday celebration would be this past weekend when Madonna would be out of town, I thought that Earl coming out with us would be the perfect gift. Every parent should be part of their children’s milestones, and turning twenty-five is no exception in my book.

It was a fun night. A whole bunch of us went out to the midtown area which, as the twenty or so other people that ventured into the night probably noticed, was completely empty. Maybe people realized the summer kickoff is only two weeks away and are trying to save a few bucks, and calories, before then. I’m not sure. Regardless, as we walked from one bar to another, witnessing a random Bridge and Tunnel idiot eyeing H.F.T. and a drunk, half-naked girl screaming into her cell phone, I shook my head in disgust and conspiratorially looked at Earl.

“Welcome to Cheeseball Alley,” he said.

The words came out of his mouth and I suddenly realized: while the breakup was rough for everyone, shit happens. People move on. And for those as lucky as me, you still get to be friends with the people that matter most.

Life Lesson #19: When your best friends are no longer a couple, it’s probably going to change your world a bit too. What’s important, though, is to realize that you have relationships independent of theirs, recognize that good friends are hard to come by, and make the effort to keep those people in your life.

Even if it means only seeing them every other weekend, and on prearranged holidays.