Life Lesson #44: Chinese Proverb: “Pleasure for one hour, a bottle of wine. Pleasure for one year a marriage; but pleasure for a lifetime, a garden.”

I’m sure everyone is ready to give up on me over here. And I apologize. Things have been a little nutty. Not nearly crazy enough for me to say Oh my god I’ve been so busy I haven’t had a second to write. That would be total bull. Or Every time I think I have a moment to sit and type something, seven other things pop up for me to do. That would be even more crap.

While I have been relatively busy in regards to job movement, finding a new apartment, and the acquisition of a new fur ball on my parents behalf (don’t worry, I’ll get to everything in a second), there has been an undercurrent of laziness that has crept in in ’07. To be perfectly honest, I think I’ve allowed the accomplishment of a few large things to justify the wayward fall of the smaller stuff. Like writing. Going to the gym. Watching what I eat. And drink. You know - the stuff that defines me as a person and not a drunken slob. Because I think the somewhat big stuff allows for a little slack.

Or maybe a better way to put it: I am experiencing my very own Yin-Yang Struggle.

According to my personal bible, Wikipedia, there are six main concepts that define this Chinese philosophy. I'd always thought it was a simple good-evil, wrong-right sort of thing. Apparently, I was mistaken. It’s a little more grey than that. And it seems, without one side, there can’t be the other.

Summary of Yin and Yang Concepts

1. Yin and Yang do not exclude each other. Everything has its opposite: although this is never absolute, only relative.

Well, let’s see. This kind of confused me a bit, until Wiki was so kind as to provide the “what goes up must come down” analogy. That got me thinking about my job. Which has gotten so miserable and boring, I was forced to do something to make it better.

It took all the courage in the world to talk to my boss. First, because as you all know, I hate confrontation. To the point that it makes me violently nauseas and causes self-inflicted migraines. Second, because my direct boss is the CEO of a billion dollar company. Third, because I was about to tell this man that I do nothing, all day, and feel as if I might actually be getting dumber by the minute. Fourth, he could very easily just fire me.

It took me getting to this Yin point, where I wanted to staple my eyes closed and build a fort around my desk, to take a step in the Yang direction. Now there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm meeting with some people in another department over the next few days in the hopes to be promoted to a much more exciting position.

And on a totally unrelated path, my parents got a new bulldog. He’s incredible. He’s all white with a brown spot on one eye and on part of his tiny little butt. He loves to sleep on our laps and eat plastic seltzer bottles. I am totally in love.

Oh, and his name? Pompeii.

But see, without the sad death of our old pooch Brutus, there wouldn’t be room for the new little guy in our lives. One had to leave in order for the other to enter.

2. Yin and Yang are interdependent. One cannot exist without the other.

Obviously! I mean, how can I practice self restraint during happy hour unless I go out in the first place? Spending too much on a pair of shoes makes me want to volunteer a little more over the next few weeks. Running around all day trying to make appointments with real estate brokers allows me to not have to go to the gym and actually run. Eating copious amounts of food between the hours to 7 pm and 4 am since I don’t really during the day.

I think you get my drift.

3. Yin and Yang can be further subdivided into Yin and Yang.

I’d like to apply this directly to the dump I'm living in for only a few more weeks (yea!). Clearly, I have very little love for the apartment overall. If you asked me right now, “Penny, do you like your apartment?”, I would immediately respond with “Hell no!”.

A few moments later, I’d still be thinking about just how much I can't stand the place. I really hate all the hot water problems over the past few months. And the lack of heat right now. And the stupid closet that isn’t deep enough for hangers. And the fact the hallway has smelled like mothballs the past few days. Or that the bed and the television never seems big enough. Although, I do enjoy wheeling my TV stand into my room and curling up in that too-small bed on a Sunday afternoon. Oh, and all the great places right by the apartment for Sunday brunch? They’re pretty awesome.

See where I’m going with this?

There are varying degrees of animosity towards my place. Some great big irritations, all the way down to the stuff that is such a little bothersome in comparison, I’ve actually managed to make it seem enjoyable.

So overall, I CANNOT wait to be out of there by the end of this month. There are things I will never, ever miss. But there are a few things I learned to live with. And some stuff that I have to admit, I will miss a little bit.

But trust me, I’ll get over them very quickly.

4. Yin and Yang consume and support each other. Yin and Yang are usually held in balance: as one increases, the other decreases. However, imbalances can occur.

This is pretty evident when I’m on the ball. The more Yang I’m feeling, the more stuff gets done. I’m productive from head to toe: cleaning my apartment, taking a spin class, reading a book, getting to bed at a decent hour. The more I’m on that path, the less likely I am to let the Yin in and say fuck it, today I’m throwing in the towel.

I guess you can say the last few weeks, though; I’ve been a bit more imbalanced than usual. The grand Yang and the sneaky Yin have been back and forth from day to day: I’ll find a new apartment by day while wasting hours watching television at night; I’ll sit at my desk all day with nothing to do, but still have no motivation to write; I’ll drag my ass to the gym and get Cold Stone on the way home.

5. Yin and Yang can transform into one another.

I don’t have to look much further than myself for this one. My bright, proactive Yang self tends to shine during the day. I try to keep busy, read the news, help my coworkers out, have a salad, drink lots of water, and wait for the crosswalk sign to turn before darting across the street.

But as the sun goes down, shady, lazy Yin starts to creep up. As it gets darker and colder out, I start thinking Screw the gym. I want a burrito for dinner. With a glass of wine. Maybe I’ll even go out for a little bit. Next thing you know, I’m cabbing it from bar to bar, flipping the bird to complete strangers as I demand another shot of Stoli-O.

I’m kind of like The Hulk (a Chinese philosophizing one). While I spend most of my days well-behaved and with generally intelligent thoughts, I can easily transform into a destructive monster with little more brains than a child.

6. Part of Yin is in Yang and part of Yang is in Yin.

This is oh-so-artistically demonstrated by the dot of opposite color within each sphere of the Yin Yang sign. I never knew this. But it definitely makes sense. My job is dark and dreary, but there are some bright spots: my boss is really nice to me, I met a few fun people here, and I get free beverages all day long. I’m generally a happy, upbeat person, but there are a few stormy clouds always floating around in my head. I have a comfy bed in the midst of a falling-apart apartment.

And as I wrote earlier: all of this big Yang stuff, like finding a new home and working at a promotion, has been spotted with bits on Yin - little dots of rebellion in the form of slacking.

Life Lesson #44: Nothing is ever all good, but never is it all bad. What it does seem to be is a giant balancing act. Trying to keep myself status quo, and more important, at harmony with everything around me. Sometimes all it takes is a moment of quiet, a regrouping of thoughts. Sometimes it takes bigger acts. The swallowing of pride and admitting defeat.

As for the Chinese proverb I found; who knows how true it is? I sure don't know a thing about marriage or how the hell to care for a garden. But whether I'm Ying-ing it or Yang-ing it, I'll make sure to remember that a bottle of wine just might help.